Leslianne Eve Bernstein 05/25/07
She’s beautiful, not like a celebrity, where jealousy hits all
But beautifully admired, like the golden sunset in the fall
She’s the kind of girl who’s so sweet and so hard to find
I love how she’s so caring, always asks what’s on my mind
She’s the kind of girl who could brighten anyone’s life
And she’s the kind of girl who I want to make my wife
She can make me laugh, and make me smile
She’s the girl I wanna be with for a while
Because she’s so easy to talk to, and so easy to love
Her voice is of an angel, an angel from up above, up above
She taught me that I could love again, it took her less than a week
She makes me feel so special, I can’t find the words to speak
Eight Hours (Two Weeks) 05/14/07
In eight hours it will be two weeks, two weeks without the title I loved so much
In eight hours it will be two weeks, two weeks without your loving touch
And in eight hours, if I survive, I’ll tell you how much these two weeks hurt
How much I miss you, I’m sorry for not knowing how much your love was worth
In four hours I’ll see you again, and in five hours we’ll be at your place
I’ll see you for six hours or so, and the whole time my eyes will never leave your face
In eight hours it will be two weeks, two weeks I’ve tried to get you to come back
In eight hours it will be two weeks, two weeks I’ve prayed that you’d come back
And in eight hours, if I’m still here, I’ll blame you for those two weeks of pain
The anguish, the agony, the suicidal tendencies that, after you left, came
In nine hours I’ll be crying again, and in ten hours I’ll be trying again
I’ll be trying to be rid of this pain just like two weeks ago when it began
In eight hours I’ll be trying to get you back like I have been for two weeks now
In eight hours I’ll be BEGGING you to reconsider your choice, wondering how
How do I get you to be mine again, and go back to being us like we were before
And how do I get past this regret and prepare myself for what’s in store
In eight hours it will be two weeks, two weeks without the title I loved so much
In eight hours it will be two weeks, two weeks without your loving touch

The Thief 05/09/07
I saw him not too long ago, and I saw a scene play in my head
I wanted to cry out “thief, return that” but I stayed silent instead
I wanted to chase him as he drove away from me, but I know better
I want to tear him apart for making me believe we’d be together
I wanted to rip his flesh from his bones for lying, lying to me
I want to kill him brutally for letting me trust him, making me believe
But I know it was not all his fault, I know it was not all him
I know I am mostly to blame for ever committing this sin
I know he never stole my heart, I simply gave it up
I never thought he’d ever hurt me, guess I had no luck
So the thief, in turn, stole not my heart, and all in all did only this
Cheated and lied, if you wish to call him a thief, he stole only my kiss
Stephanie Maynard 05/08/07
She’s a mechanic, she plays softball
Somehow she has broken my walls
She’s gotten deep inside my mind
She has no clue what she will find
She’s nothing like the girl I dreamt of
Now that I met her, she’s who I dream of
She’s a tomboy, she sings like a rock star
She’s everything, and yet she’s so far
So far from what I ever wanted, so why
Why does she make my spirits so high
Why is it her that makes me feel this way
Why does she leave me with nothing to say
When I see her face and she smiles at me
And I hear her voice it makes me go weak
Weak in the knees, with a fluttering heart
I should have known it right from the start
How can one so different make me smile
I think I’m gonna stay with her for a while
Can I be with her forever or is it too long?
One day will I cry when I hear our song?
Will I ever lose her? I really hope I don’t
Will she ever hurt me? I pray that she won’t
Because, I truly, honestly love this girl
She’s the best girl I’ve ever met in this world
Here We Go 05/03/07
There you go, you’re saving me again; it doesn’t matter, we’re still only friends
Here I go, cry’n’ my eyes out again; but it doesn’t change the fact that this is the end
And Here We Go, holding each other again; this wound, I thought, would not mend
Until you went saving me, my friend; Until you went saving me again
Tell me, what’s running through your mind?; That it’s the wrong place and time?
The love we have is so unkind; the trust I had, now hard to find
Here I go, spilling my heart out to you; it’s something that I never do
It may be hard to do the things you do; but it’s hard being me too
But it’s getting harder now, does it show; It’s getting harder for me to let you go
And I just wanna let you know; I don’t want to let you go
Here We Go, holding each other again; this wound, I thought, would not mend
Until you went saving me, my friend; Until you went saving me again
I hear your heart pounding in my hears; it’s so close that it’s all I hear
You just put me through my biggest fear; but even still I hold you near
You may think me stupid, weird; All for still holding you near
So answer me one question, dear; why are you still standing here?
Here We Go, holding each other again; this wound, I wished it would not mend
But then you went saving me, my friend; but then you went saving me again
The blood flow slowed, and then the end; and you make your point yet again
Who else would be with me at 2 AM; trying to make my bleeding end
There you go, you’re saving me again; it doesn’t matter, we’re still only friends
Here I go, cry’n’ my eyes out again; You’ve saved my life yet again
His Kiss 04/25/07
His kiss, ah, how to describe the rush of pleasure which comes with his kiss
Maybe difficult to imagine, but not even the night holds a magic such as this
Fires burn s warm, so bright, yet not as warm, and not as bright as he
I sometimes wonder (thankfully) why he chose to give these kisses to me
He may never know how beautiful this magic is, how amazing his kisses truly are
They hold a special feeling, as if the kisses themselves were collected from the stars
To kiss his lips, to feel the astounding amount of love he has for me, so sweet
Every single little magical kiss is a small, precious, somewhat sugary treat
I crave these petite little treats, I hunger for this magical, precious sweet kiss
I need it when he’s near or far away, no matter where, his kiss is always missed
His kiss, ah, how to describe the rush of pleasure which comes with his kiss
Maybe difficult to imagine, but not even the night holds a magic such as this
The passion, the pleasure, everything is so perfect, so peaceful, so right
Even the Tigress within me falls tame and has given up without any fight
Not even fire holds the heat, the burning that resides in the moisture on his lips
So I close my eyes, and with a single peaceful sigh, surrender to his kiss
Emotional/Writers Block Poems 04/23/07
I wish I were able to cry, swallow my pride, end this hell I call life
But they won’t let me die, I have to hide, can’t seem to make it all right
Wish I could let the emotion out, and make my life about you
But it’s something I can’t seem to do
‘Cause I can’t get out of my past, and please don’t ask
I don’t wanna talk about it, ‘cause I don’t wanna lose my wits today
But does it really matter anywise?

I have to write, need to get the emotion out, but I lack the inspiration to write
I feel like I’m going to cry, I want to die, because nothing here feels right

My brain is rushing with these words
But I can’t seem to write them down
It’s so aggravating that it hurts
And this block in flow makes me frown
‘Cause it’s giving me a headache
And I feel like I’m gonna explode
I’ve written too much about heartache
Now I’m all out of ideas, I just don’t know
Out of ideas, don’t know what to do
Can’t figure out what to write about
I’ve used up all my ideas about you
And I can’t get these words to come out
The War of Emotions 04/05/07
I’m sitting, surrounded by criticizing people with their cruel silence and emotionless eyes
In a heartless place where I have rarely been before, and I hardly even recognize
And all that I can think about are the words from yesterday, slicing through my veins
The carriage of m life has fallen off the tracks, the horse in front, I’ve lost his reins
This burning in my chest, destruction of my soul, killing of my mind, you could never know
The affection, attraction that kills and destroys me, causes wars in my head, to love you I do loathe
For this tainted, twisted, mutilated love that digs, burrows, buries itself deep in my heart
This painful emotion, it feels, sounds, tastes nothing like it should, ‘twas bound to fade from the start
You’ve torn, ripped, stabbed at my heart too often, too much, and I cannot keep living
I want to feel the razor’s kiss, the blood (and pain) leave me, so to you my love stop giving
I want to hear silence, as, slowly, my heart stops beating, my blood flow slowly deceases
I want my breathing to cease to exist, and when all is done, for you I’ll no longer break to pieces
And yet I want to hold you close, kiss your lips, breathe your scent, be the only one you hold dear
comfort you, and love you so (never let you go), make it so you and I are forever near
This war wages on in my hear, I hear the clashing, the screaming, the never-ending feud
Between the love, affection, attraction and the loathe, hate, despise... the emotions I feel for you
Will someone, something, ever help, someone take me away from this confused, puzzled state
Anyone, anything, please help, save me from these emotions I’m drowning in, this love and this hate


If You Could See Me Now 02/26/07

If You Could See Me Now...
Would you recognize me? Would you love me?
Would you deny my existence, push me away, shove me?
Would you hold me close and wipe away my tears?
Would you smile at me and chase away my fears?
Would you accept me for who I am? would you turn away?
Would you reject me as your daughter for reasons you’d never say?
Would you hold me when I’m crying, and be a hero in my eyes?
Would you be overprotective and keep me far from other guys?
Would you ignore me or come back into my gloomy life?
Would you help me or leave me to drown in my strife?
Would you miss me when I leave, or would you leave me by myself?
Would you lend me a hand, or would you just never even offer help?
Would you see everything I am, everything there’s ever been to see?
Would you see everything I’ve ever been, all that I do, and would you be proud of me?



Jealous Little Girl (I Shall Defend My Friends) 01/20/07
Seeing him and her together warms a spot inside my heart
They’re made for each other, perfect from the very start
And now a jealous girl seeks to destroy these two
I shall not allow this, I have all the clues
I will defend to the death these two, my friends
And I will defend them still even after I’ve met my end
For this happy girl is my true friends, and will always be
And if the jealous girl doesn’t stop she’ll have to go through me
So keep on threatening, silly jealous little girl
If you dare defy this, you’ll have to face the world
The choice is yours my dear, do you dare defy me, will you go there?
I an one that you should fear, let me give you a hint, don’t you dare
For the world all knows what you have done
The clock is now ticking, three... two... one
-Now Run-

Fantasy vs. Reality 01/18/07
You are my reality and yet you are my fantasy
Lift me up and fly away, make me feel this is just a dream
And you open my eyes so I can see
The truth about the situation, you’re my reality
And you’re everything to me

When I am weak you make me strong
You give me the will to carry on
You’re always there for me
Even when I’m undeserving
You’re a true friend, I wish I was too
I wish I could be nearly as good as you
And I just want you to know, I love you
Yeah, I love you

You are my fantasy and you snap me back into reality
I dream of you, do you ever dream of me?
I know you’re always there, thank you for doing so
You help me to make the right decision, tell me when to say no

You are my reality and yet you are my fantasy
Lift me up and fly away, make me feel this is just a dream
And you open my eyes so I can see
The truth about the situation, you’re my reality
And you’re everything to me
Snowflake Kisses 02/11/07
Walking down the normal road, and I was deep in thought as always
Walking by myself, so I thought, I was kissed by snowflakes today
Cold little kisses only faintly touched my lips leaving my lips frozen and cold
It left me longing for more of this new sensation to erase the feeling of the old

It's strange my darling, so strange that these small frozen kisses of ice
Compared to your love and your kisses, are warm, and are pleasantly nice
For your love is lies, and your kisses have become quite so bland
And your reasoning seems so delirious that I don't understand

I'm walking down the same streets, nothing here has changed
But the thoughts in my head which have become so strange
Since I felt that snowflake upon my lips which left me to question
Why has your love become so cold that I am left with just depression

You should have seen the smile that danced along my face
When the snowflake fell from the sky and on my lip found it's place
At least I know that the snowflake would never be able to lie
And then at least I know I would never have to wonder why

So kiss me again, little snowflakes, bring the joy back to my eyes
Like the joy that played along my face when I realized
That the simplest little thing could make me smile
So I wish that these Snowflake Kisses would last a while
R.I.P. Christian Karrith Walbridge 01/24/06
'How Could This Have Happened?' The thought runs through my head
I sob out words unknown, I cry as I lay alone in my bed
Never has anything hurt me as badly as this did tonight
Never have I ever felt this far from the light
She told me the truth last night, the truth about me
And I accepted it unlike any other teenager could, I could see
She told me at a perfect time, I'm old enough to accept
But she did not postpone this news enough for me to reject
I'm different than all my siblings, my father is not the same
My siblings have the same father, but Shawn and I were different when we came
My blonde hair, my blue-green eyes, there was no possible way
That I had the same father as them, it was a lie to say
She told me about Christian, my real father, and how she loved him so
So I went through all of today trying to find a way to let him know
She fell out of contact with him a while back
And until now she never told me this little fact
So today I did everything in my power to find a way to call
Searched every phone book, every one, for any hint at all
And then I called my brother who helped me much, I thought
When I told him that I knew, he never even fought
He told me where my gather works, and what time he does
And for the first time in my life, I thanked him just because
I realized for the first time that me and him are the same
And I realized that just maybe, he's not the one to blame
Then I called my best friend and she did a search for him
My father, and she found his number, she fulfilled my whim
And so my mother called for me, and after a bit of silence galore
She hung up and said 'no answer', so I waited patiently on the floor
Three hours later, we tried the number again, and when tears came to her eyes
I instantly knew what happened, there was no disguise
But to confirm my fears, when she hung up, she said it, what she couldn't hide
She told me about what happened, about how Christian, my father, died
And she sobbed and hugged me, and she did nothing but apologize
For not telling me sooner, I felt the tears in my own eyes
But if every cloud has a silver lining, I guess this one does too
I get to visit his old house, his mothers house, which does soothe
Yet it will never heal this wound which hides deep in my flesh
o medicine, no doctor, could heal this, not even the best
I never got to know him, never had the chance
Never even got to meet him, and I guess now I can't
A pity I guess, but I must look on the bright side
At least I know she loved him, after al the time she's cried
Three hours later and I still hear her cried; Oh I wish, I dream he was alive
She said one thing while she was crying which never forgot will be
At least she has one piece of him, she's so happy she had me
I told her I loved her as she told me to get some sleep
But never will I sleep again, not after hearing her weep
So now I lie in my bed;    Thoughts of Christian in my head
As I'm holding all the things I have left that were his
This book of art, and his random doodles, plus the shirt she hid
All the things my father owned;   They help me to not feel alone
I'm clinging to these few possessions, and try to keep myself from tears
And the music in the background to drown out the tears, I can't even hear
I hold close to his belongings, the shirt and the art
As I try not to see the scattered shards of my shattered heart
It makes no difference that I barely knew him
  My father, the one my mother loved, Christian
Mio Salvatore, My Savior 02/07/07
Mio Salvatore, My Savior you have been
Always there for me, saving me again
And when I thought about it
You made me admit
   And you, you my darling
     You Saved Me

Mio Salvatore, My Savior you are
You make me shine like the brightest stars
And when those starts began to fall
To save me, you caught them all
   You drive me wild
     Yet you make me smile

Mio Salvatore, My Savior you will be forever
You always protect me from myself when I wish to sever
You've never hurt me in any way, darling you never will
For you're much too loving, for me you'd die, or kill
   You aren't just a silly boy
     You make me cry tears of joy

Mio Salvatore, My Savior, for now and for always
Not only on your good days, on ALL days
I wish you realized half the things you've done
I also want you to know you're the only one
   That could ever earn my heart
     You're the inspiration of my art
All I Blame You For 01/17/07
Tonight is no exception to
   The way I always miss you
Tonight, as always, I cannot sleep
   For I'm wondering if you're mine to keep
You see my darling, I've come to think
   This is why I cannot sleep a wink
I complain about all I see
   It's just a part of being me
I believe the land is far too dry
   I believe too many people lie
The ocean is deep, dark, and blue
   I've fallen so much in love with you
The sun is too bright, too hot
   I wonder too much why I'm not
I believe the moon is too far
   I wish to dance on it, with the stars
I believe flowers aren't rare enough
   I think that all too many people bluff
I always remember your kiss
   For, my love, it is all too missed
Darling, you are just perfectly sweet
   All I blame you for is falling in love with me
Fairytaleland 01/17/07
Once upon a time, far away in a place called Fairytaleland
Everything always went perfectly and exactly as planned
What happened to that? What happened to the perfection?
When did everything change? Why did he overlook your affection?

Silly boys mess everything up, don't you wish you were still a little kid?
Bruises and scrapes heal faster than broken hearts, and you know it
Baby girl, oh my baby girl, life will get better, I swear
And you know that as long as you need me, I'll always be there

Once upon a time, far away in a place called Fairytaleland
Everything always went perfectly and exactly as planned
What happened to the fun we used to be able to have?
What happened to the times when we used to be able to laugh?

What happened to princesses always getting their prince charming?
Why is it people only see the fun when it's another they are harming
Where did Cinderella go, and what happened to her prince?
And why is that frog stalking her, why can't he take a hint?

Once upon a time, far away in a place called Fairytaleland
Everything always went perfectly and exactly as planned
What happened to that? What happened to the perfection?
When did everything change? Why did he overlook your affection?
You Lied? 01/17/07
I thought you were my prince, oh I was wrong
With every thought, every word of every song
Everything about you, was it all a lie?
These questions are mine to ponder, it kills me deep inside

You lied to me, you selfish brat!
You lied to me, how about that?
And to cover up for your mistake, you brought up mine
To justify your selfishness, you tell me I lie all the time
Also remember that when I lie to you, it's not for me, it's all for you
I lie to protect you, to keep you from worrying about what I may do

But Darling dear, remember this
It's me, my love, my touch, my kiss
It's me that you will learn to miss
I dare you darling, lie to me again, this is my promise

You don't realize the power I posses
But darling, this isn't a contest
It's simply a warning to let you know
That I can freeze and be colder than snow
If you ever dare to make that mistake again
You'll lose your best-ever girlfriend

So Darling dear, remember this
It's me, my love, my touch, my kiss
It's me that you will learn to miss
I dare you darling, lie to me again, this is my promise
Remember the way you long for me
My eyes, my laugh, my sex, everything
Remember too, what it's like to lose
The on you love, so what do you choose?
Bruce 01/17/07

Close your eyes and go to the world of shadows and dark
Go to that scary place of dark secrets, deep in your heart
Face the shadows that await you there
Conquer your fears, if you dare
And face the most Feared thing
Bruce, The Shadow Puppet King

See the flames shoot from his mouth
See the fiery death that spouts
Watch, in turn, as you face your end
From King Bruce, my best friend

So close your eyes and enter your heart
And face the demons in the dark
Just remember one necessary thing
You'll lose your life to Bruce, Shadow Puppet King
Run Away With Me 01/10/07
You're quiet for a moment in time, deep in thought
I wonder if you're thinking about her, I hope you're not
I hear a sigh, so I look at you, but your expression is hard to read
You look back at me, and softly say, "Baby, come home with me"
I don't answer, I can't, I don't know what to say
So I simply answer "Darling, you know I can't, not today"
You sigh again, and even though I already answered, I still debate
And I don't know what to do, stuck in this confused state
You look away for a moment, but the light still hasn't turned green
So after another moment of silence, you turn back to me
"Run away with me" you say, and again I cannot speak
"Tomorrow morning, run away with me", your words make me go weak
"Darling, we can't, we'll be caught" but you just shake your head
I expect you to just stop this now, but you continue instead
"No, we won't, come on, please?" You don't see how much I want to
"I'll empty my bank account tonight, and tomorrow we'll leave... what's keeping you?"
I must admit, love, you have a point, there's nothing worth staying for here
And if we run away together, I know you'll always and forever be near
But somehow I can't seem to say yes, wondering what to do
The light turns green and you drive, I thank god for distracting you
For if you asked me one more time, I'd have curled up into your chest
And without thinking about it any further, my answer would have been yes


Am I Dying? 01/09/07
Don't make promises if you won't be able to keep them
Don't, unless you realize the full commitment beneath them
Don't promise you'll always be there for me because you won't
You'd never be able to keep that promise, so don't

I need you now, where are you?
You'll be at work for another hour or two
And even though you promised me
'No matter what', but you can't leave

I'm crying now, crying, cutting, bleeding
But this time, it's not happening, the pain isn't healing
Maybe this time I'll be able to end it
I type the goodbye message but I can't seem to send it

But the blood just keeps on coming, and no one's here to stop it
The razor-blade is in my hand and no one's here to make me drop it
I wish I could call you but I don't have the strength to pick up the phone
And I don't have the heart to tell you anywise, so I'll just lay here all alone

Am I dying? The question runs through my head
It doesn't fucking matter anymore! The blood is staining my bed
Well, if I do die, at least I won't hurt anymore
Neither my body, nor my heart, will ever again be sore

I need you now, where are you?
You'll be at work for another hour or two
And even though you promised me
'No matter what', but you can't leave
You’re Not Him 01/09/07
Every time you raise your hand I flinch out of habit
I couldn't stand it before, I left him because I'd had it
Every time you joke around, I take it all too personally
Because, you see, he used to say those things just to hurt me
When you tell me that I'm beautiful, all I do is deny
Because I recently learned that when he said it, he lied
But every time I flinch inside
   I stop because I realize
Darling, you're not him, you're not the way he is
I remember him, and you do nothing the way he did
You will never strike me hard enough to send my mind reeling
You will never burn me bad enough to leave my flesh peeling
You've never hurt me bad enough to make me cry aloud
You've never hurt me bad enough to hear my pained sound
You're not him, you've never hurt me, you never will
Yes, I trusted him, but I TRUST YOU STILL
I still hold his scars, so I'm sorry if I fear you like I feared him
I still remember how he guilted me and got under my skin
Forgive me if I shiver and flinch randomly at times
Forgive me if sometimes I go a little bit out of my mind
But every time I flinch inside
   I stop because I realize
Darling, you're not him, you're not the way he is
I remember him, and you do nothing the way he did
You will never strike me hard enough to send my mind reeling
You will never burn me bad enough to leave my flesh peeling
You've never hurt me bad enough to make me cry aloud
You've never hurt me bad enough to hear my pained sound
You're not him, you've never hurt me, you never will
Yes, I trusted him, but I TRUST YOU STILL
I apologize if sometimes I accuse you
Of something that that you would never do
I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry if I'm hurting you
I'm just scared of being hurt again, like the way he used to do
But every time I flinch inside
   I stop because I realize
Darling, you're not him, you're not the way he is
I remember him, and you do nothing the way he did
You will never strike me hard enough to send my mind reeling
You will never burn me bad enough to leave my flesh peeling
You've never hurt me bad enough to make me cry aloud
You've never hurt me bad enough to hear my pained sound
You're not him, you've never hurt me, you never will
Yes, I trusted him, but I TRUST YOU STILL